Saturday, December 15, 2007

Ch-ch-ch-cha-changes

Ever get the feeling that someone you've always known really well has changed? I think just about everyone has. I'm not sure that everyone has felt that way about themselves, however. It's a very odd sensation to suddenly not really recognize yourself. I am generally considered to be (and think of myself as) a logical, reasonable sort of person. I tend to keep things pretty simple, and stick to a plan once I've made it. But that just doesn't seem to fit with the following series of events.

1) Discuss the fact that I am not enthusiastic about sock knitting.

2) Decide to "cure" myself by making 5 pairs before Christmas, with 4 weeks to go (This does not seem particularly unlike me, actually...)

3) Make 2 pairs (if you count the one sock that came out wrong and needs to be redone)

4) Decide sock making isn't so bad after all, and begin to think I might like it, after all.

5) Stress about whether or not there will be time to finish (here's where things start getting unusual...I don't normally worry about asking myself to do the impossible, and this really isn't impossible anyway)

6) Sock knitting gives copious time for reflection. Reflect deeply. Realize that family is probably not all that interested in socks to begin with.

7) Shorten knitting list accordingly.

8) Go shopping, find more appropriate gifts to replace said socks.

9) Realize that there are 2 weeks left until Christmas

10) Feel bereft at not having holiday knitting to stress about (This is where I'm beginning to be concerned...I'm worried about not having something to stress over before the holidays???)

10)Begin to question whether or family might like mitts better than socks?

11)Catch self being indecisive and illogical. Throw up hands, shake head, and wonder if I should have head examined once thoroughly shaken.

I dunno. My knitting personality is much different than my real-life personality in a lot of ways, but this might be taking it a bit too far. Everyone has their little quirks, and generally we are used to them and have them under relatively good control. I, for instance, avoid giving in to my tendency to perfectionism in order to keep from annoying the people around me. I just let things go in real life and take it out on my knitting later, which works out rather well, actually. As long as you're aware of a particular tendency, you can compensate accordingly. But what does one do when all of those habitual tendencies suddenly turn upside down? I mean, really. This is downright impulsive! It's kinda fun, in a heady sort of way, but it's rather unsettling to wake up one morning and realize that you don't really recognize yourself anymore. Amusing, but unsettling. Huh. I wonder who I'll be tomorrow?